Birds and Bees - Scary Bitches

My mother saw me kiss a boy

When I was only ten

Well you might think that’s not too bad

But things were different then

She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said

I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees

She pulled me to her side and she sat me on her knees, she said

I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees

She said always use a condom you can do just what you please

They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs

Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…

Said all men are bastards

There’s two things they want from you

Someone at home to cook their meals

And someone they can screw

Then after twenty-seven years

They’ll get a little itch

And they’ll run off and leave you

For some thirty year old bitch

My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said

I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees

She said if you use a condom you can do just what you please

They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs

I don’t think my mother liked boys very much

Then your thoughts might turn to girlies

Don’t fight it, it’s okay

There really is no problem

If you find out that you’re gay

But you might find it hard to form

Long-term relationships

So my advice, just grab the girl

Who’s got the biggest tits

My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said

I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees

She said always use a condom you can do just what you please

They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs

Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…

When she runs off with someone else

It might not be the end

Cause you might take a fancy

To our fine four-legged things

But their bits are all in different parts

You won’t know what to do

So I bought this book with diagrams

Especially for you

My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said

I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees

She said always use a condom you can do just what you please

They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs

Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…

Or you might turn to your family

A couple’s not too bad

Just remember uncle Kevin’s mine

And don’t go with your dad

I said ma, don’t patronize me

Don’t take me for a fool

Everything you’ve said we learned three years ago in school!

My mother pulled me to her side, sat me on her knees, she said

I think it’s time that you and I discussed the birds and bees

She said always use a condom you can do just what you please

They stop you getting pregnant and catchings STDs

Birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and bees and birds and…