A Rush Of Ecstasy - Solitary Experiments

I should have known it with the first indication

As a hint that it already has begun

To figure out that the first cut was the deepest

I should have known it right from the start

It’s getting worse and the pain has become stronger

At the first time still everything was fun

It ended up in a strange behaviour

It’s just a calm before the storm

Suddenly my heart starts to bleed a rush of ecstasy

Silently sometimes I hurt myself

I should have known that the guilt leads to depression

Nobody knows but I feel insecure

Somehow it seems I was consumed by hatred

I should have known it but now it’s too late

One thousand words cannot describe the hunger

Inside my mind where everything went wrong

All of these scars remind me to my weakness

It’s just the point of no return

Suddenly my heart starts to bleed a rush of ecstasy

Silently sometimes I hurt myself