The Witness - Source

It’s been so long since

I have felt this

Emptiness so deep inside

It’s paralyzed me

Immobilized me

There’s no way to do this right

Struggling with my darkest thoughts

Straining to see through the fog

The clarity that I once had

Slips like sand right through my hands

I’ve cherished life

Savored breath

Don’t want to fight

To not fade away

The feelings I

Don’t want to face

Are tearing me up inside

I’m holding on to life

The stabbing calls me

To the wounding

My impending punishment

But in the grieving

I come undone

Untie the knots the pain has spun

The hurting is all that I have

To keep me to the witness stand

And even though I wish it might

Suicide won’t end the ride

I’ve cherished life

Savored breath

Don’t want to fight

To not fade away

The feelings I

Don’t want to face

Are tearing me up inside

I’m holding on to life

Scared of what I might

Do to myself if

I am left alone

So I’m holding I’m

Struggling with my darkest thoughts

Straining to see through the fog

The clarity that I once had

Slips like sand right through my hands

I’ve cherished life

Savored breath

Don’t want to fight

To not fade away

The feelings I

Don’t want to face

Are tearing me up inside

I’m holding on to life

Scared of what I might

Do to myself if

I am left alone

So I’m holding tight

To the pain that is

Keeping me inside

It’s the only thing

Keeping me alive