Positive - Spearhead

Make me, make me sweat

til I’m wet, til I’m dry

but then wipe this tear from my eye

haven’t felt this warm in a long time

even out in the bright sunshine

in lifetime of springtimes

I fall into your arms

with my heart pumpin’on

like a bubblin’dub track

like a garlicy hot tonque and lip smack

I did some contemplation

before we got down to this consecration

maybe baby something in you kiss said

it was an impetous

for me to rethink this

If I love you

then I better get tested

make sure we’re protected

I walk through the park

dressed like a question mark

Hark!

I hear my memory bark

in the back of my brain,

makn’me insane…

…like cocaine

But how’m I gonna live my life if I’m positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

How’m I gonna live my life if I’m positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

but how’m I gonna live my life if I’m positive?

It dawned on me, it seemed to me this is unusual scenery

this red light greenery

make me feel kinda dreamery

thinkin’how I used to be Arrive at the clinic

walk through the front door

take a nervous number

then I think about it more

about all the time

that I neglected

makin sure that

I was protected

They took my blood

With an anonymous number

two weeks waitin’wonderin'

I shoulda done this a long time ago

alot of excuses why I couldn’t go I know these things and these things I must know

'cause it’s better to know than to not know!

I go home to kick it in my apartment

I try to give myself

a risk assessment

the wait is what can really annoy ya everyday is more paranoya

I’m readin’about how it’s transmitted

some behavior I must admit it who I slept with, who they slept with,

who they, who they, who they slept with

I think about life and immortality

what’s the first thing I do if I’m H.I.V

have a cry and tell my mother

get on the phone and call my past lovers

I never thought about infectin’anotha

all the times that I said Hmmm?

Don’t bother.

Was it really all that magic?

The times I didn’t use a prophalactic

Would my whole life have to change?

or would my whole life remain the same?

sometimes it makes me wanna shout!

all these things too hard to think about

a day to laugh, a day to cry

a day to live and a day to die

'til I find out, I may wonder

but I’m not gonna live my life six feet under