The Stocking Song - Steel Panther

So you say you like candy canes

All the ladies do

Candy canes were meant for sucking

So don’t you think about trying to chew

How about a little eggnog

I got a homemade recipe

You’re gonna get love drunk on my eggnog

Even though it’s alcohol free

I’m gonna stuff your stocking this year

Gonna fill up nice and tight

Gonna feel so good when I slide my gifts into it tonight

I’m gonna stuff your stocking this year

Gonna fill it up with all I got

Nick nacks and candies gonna hit your stocking g-spot

I know you like your toys, girl

I got toys to fulfill your needs

The kind that only use double d batteries

And run at variable speeds

Gonna stuff it with an iPhone

All I ask is some tit for tat

If you could memorize the Kama Sutra

Heck they probably make an app for that

I’m gonna stuff your stocking this year

Gonna fill it to the tippy top

Gonna take it all out

Then stuff it back in

Take it al out… stuff it back in

You’ll never want me to stop

I’m gonna stuff your stocking this year

With holiday love and romance

I just hope that Santa doesn’t stuff it

Before I get the chance