Talk To Me - Stephen Lynch

I came down to the breakfast table

Felt like I could die

Tried so hard, but wasn’t able

To look you in the eye

For I am feeling so much shame

Yes I have brought disgrace

Can tell I’ve soiled my good name

By the look upon your face

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin' it

No use denyin' it, I was really crankin' it

Well dry your eyes, don’t be so sad

If you could just forgive me, and talk to me dad

Talk to me, dad

I didn’t hear you enter, no I didn’t hear the door

With my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor

Now burnt into your brain is an image you despise

Like blood and guts and starving kids and Stevie Wonder’s eyes

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin' it

No use denyin' it, I was really crankin' it

Well dry your eyes, don’t be so sad

But I wouldn’t use those tissues;

they’ve already been had…

Talk to me, dad

The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish

So I said «could you close the door, I really want to finish.»

Now daddy, I’m ashamed and I completely understand

If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin' it

No use denyin' it, I was really crankin' it

Well dry your eyes, don’t be so sad

Just because it was your bed, it’s not that bad

When I was only 17 you told me it was dirty

So it must be really creepy when you kid is pushing 30

But you cannot tell me, dad, you have never had a whack

At the thing that hangs below your belt and bumps into your sack

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin' it

No use denyin' it, I was really crankin' it

Well dry your eyes, don’t be so sad

But I wouldn’t use those tissues, they’ve already been…

Just because it was your bed, it’s not that…

Oh daddy, daddy, please forgive me, and talk to me, dad

Talk to me, dad