From the Window - Suffocate for Fuck Sake

I had my own apartment then.

My first apartment and me and two friends had

picked up 10 grams in the city.

We went back home to me.

Then all of a sudden,

I just wake up on the floor, it may have been four o‘clock at night and I can

hear someone knocking somewhere.

What the hell is happening?

I lived on the

ground floor and my two friends stood on the balcony and banged on the window

and they were very distressed.

So when I got up to let them in I hear the

doorbll ringing.

I thought something must have happend so I started to hide the

fact that we‘ve had a fucking junkie party here.

So I take the beers and I go

and look through the keyhole on the door.

Then I see that there are 4 ambulance

men outside there so I think «what the hell is this?».

So I gather courage and

open …

«Hi»

«Hi, are you Mikael Hägglund?»

I answered «Yes»

«How are you?»

«I‘m doing fine»

«Ok, we‘ve got a call saying you‘re not»

Down we fall

I‘m drifting out, away from life

Venom, flows in my veins

Eyes, clouded in blackness

As the past twists and fade

Into grey

Four steps from the edge

I return from death

And hide in plain sight

When they knock on the door

I believe that as a child you are born with an enormous love for your parents,

and it takes a very long time before it goes away.

But I think that at the age

of 12−13 I started to feel… that I almost did not belong

My family did not become my safe space

An absent father

A loving mother

The charade I maintain

The secrets I keep

In a bottomless chasm

I left myself alone

Det duger bra

För en stund

Kan jag sjunka ner i dyn

Jag somnar in

Och för en stund

Har jag glömt mig själv

«You look abit worried, is everything alright?»

«I‘ve just had some beer, it‘s all good»

«Is it okay for us to check your blood pressure?»

«Absolutely» So I held out my hand and put on one on those things that you

check your blood pressure with

«You have quite high blood pressure, you should rest and don’t drink anymore

for now.

Try get some sleep, Call if you need anything»

«Absolutely, I promise.

Thanks for coming»

I closed the door and started to wondered what the hell happened?