Classical Teacher - Tenacious D

Hey Kage

Jables

How goes it man?

S’good, s’good

Y’know I been thinking a lot about it,

and um, I just want us to be the best f*cking band in the world.

Well yeah me too!

There’s no point in doing it if we’re not the best.

Well s’true.

I agree with that.

I mean what, yeah we’re gonna be, yeah we’re really good.

We’re like

almost as good as Arcade Fire, f*ck that.

Yeah

We gotta leave those f*ckers in the dust!

What, what do you…

All those f*cking youngsters gotta f*cking lick

our boot or f*ck it!

Y’know what I mean?

Yeah!

Yeah, well what, how do we do that though?

Dude you need to f*cking have some lessons.

What!

I know, you’re really good but you gotta expand your game.

Lessons!

Y’know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a f*cking,

y’know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal?

Man, yeah, that’s true.

That’s true.

Well I’ve just been noticing some of your classic

riffs are a little sloppy.

Really?

And I, I hope you’re not pissed off at me but

I went ahead and hired a dude.

Yeah?

Oh no, what!

Dude, just give it a chance will you?

If you don’t like- ah hey!

I

swear, if you don’t like it we’ll f*cking fire his ass.

He’s out.

Who is this guy?

I never,

His name is Felix Char

Urgh, what.

He’s from Spain and he is the best.

Oh god,

I got him from the f*cking London Phildsarmonic.

Urgh, I just, I don’t know him, it seems weird!

Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him?

OK.

Alright.

I’ll spend a minute with him.

OK bro, he’s right outside I’m sending him in.

Oh god, OK.

Why?

Lessons, so stupid.

Hello?

Uh, hi!

Hello, I am Felix Char.

Hi, uh.

Felix?

Yeah, um.

Ah, as, Jack has asked me to spend some time with you.

Uh.

OK, hm.

One on one.

So, while Jack is outside,

ah we will work on your technique.

OK.

Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here?

Yup.

Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here.

Ah, it is a Fender ay?

Is this a Fender?

Ah well it’s a Gibson.

Yes a Gibson, yes.

Made by the same,

uh, manufacturer.

Pick it up please, can you pick it up?

OK.

Yeah.

No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!

What?

What’d I do?

What’d I do?

You pick it up from the neck!

This is not the way you pick up a guitar!

I just picked it up, I just-

No, no, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, cállate tu boca, pick it up from the body.

The what!

The body.

Oh the body!

Body, OK.

I’m sorry about my accent.

I didn’t know, I didn’t know.

Now listen to me.

I want you to play,

like it is a woman.

You go and play the guitar now.

Play.

Uh, OK?

Uh.

No, no, no, no, no.

You, your fingers.

Your fingers are too tight.

They’re too tight?

Yes, let me get behind you.

Like this, you see?

Oh!

Hm.

If I put my finger, on your finger.

Hey!

Then you can feel,

I can!

Wait!

Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu!

Finger to your mouth.

I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips.

Mhmhm!

Yes that’s good.

Hey man!

Now listen hey, you want to play like an orgasm.

I’m just try- what?!

Feel this.

Do you feel that?

Oh God!

This is really weird man!

That’s my cock.

What!

That’s my cock in your butt cheeks.

Oh God!

Hey!

Do you feel it?

No!

Now I’m going to touch your cock.

Ow!

Let me touch your penis.

It’s me!

What?!

It’s me.

It’s JB.

God!

There’s no Felix dude.

What are you doing?!

I’m f*cking waking you up!

I’m trying to shake your foundations!

By touching me with your penis?!

Yes!

By f*cking touching your penis!

Whatever it takes!

God!

That’s all I’m saying dude!

I’m making a point!

Let’s get f*cking

serious!

Let’s get f*cking physical!

Alright.

Let’s take it from the top.