The Ballad of the Half-Brained Man - Chamber - L'Orchestre De Chambre Noir

Born on a Wednesday noon

Somewhere in the midlands

They´d mistaken half his brain for the afterbirth and threw it away

Since that day he always needed someone to look after him

His half-hearted mother gave him away

So his half-brother took care

Brought him down again

Since he was only running upstairs

Took off the clothes he´d forgotten to take off

Whipped his back when he´d shit in his pants

Cause he´d forgotten to take them down while sitting on the pot

Another reason for why he never had friends:

He was unbearably forgetful, dumb and smelled

On the day his half-brother died he had to start to grow

And look after himself

He got a part time job in a library

And yeah, you know the story, he never finished a book

Even though he´d started them all

One day, in the pub, after work, having half a pint

He realized for the first time

That there was something missing in his life

For the first time he was aware of his loneliness

What caused a flood of half pints

Till he got thrown out and stumbled towards home

From the next day on he was looking for his woman

But of course, none of those he had chosen was in any kind attached to him

He got very frustrated and depressive

Drunk ways too much and still smelled;

Remember this little restroom — problem!

This also didn´t help the situation

He was so sick and tired of his half-a-live

That he´d decided to commit suicide

And shot himself in the head

Nothing happened of course

It was the wrong side of the skull — the one with no brain

He was taken to the hospital where he

Packed in bandage stumbled into a person on the corridor

Packed in bandage, too

But oh-god, it was a female with her skull dressing on the opposite side than

his…

Half a year later they were married

And when their child was born — oh what a miracle:

It was fully brained

He was the most happy person on this planet even though he was still

Unbearably forgetful, dumb and smelled…

So, their life became more and more difficult

She slept when he was awake

She shut doors when he wanted them open…

Their love turned into hate

And one day she took the child and left him

It looks like females can deal better

With half brained lives than males

She went back to her mother

Where she still lives her happy half-brained life

But he drowned in deep depressions again

Became worse than ever before and

Yes, one day he took the old gun again and… BANG…

This time he got the right side

He´d learned something after all

Words: Marcus Testory