The Beards Club - The Beards

The beards club stood

In the middle of town

And if you didn’t have a beard

You were’nt allowed

At eighteen years old

Billie couldn’t grow a beard

He wanted one badly

He’d been trying for years

Billy couldn’t even grow a simple goatee

And the bouncers always said

No beard, no entry

By the time that he was twenty

Billy managed a beard

It was patchy and mangy

But it got him in

He walked up to the bar

And pulled up a seat

The bearded man behind the bar said

What’ll it be

Billy flashed a beard and smiled and said

I’ll have a pint

The barman flashed one back and said

Welcome inside

Welcome to the beards club

Welcome to the beards club

Welcome to the beards club

Come the fuck inside

Well everything was going fine

'til in walked a guy

He had a beard down to his chest

He was seven feet high

The barman said

Hey I don’t want a scene

But the giant bearded man

Walked up to billy

The giant pointed at Billy’s face and said

You call that a beard?

He grabbed Billy by the throat and said

Get out of here

Stay away from the beards club

Stay away from the beards club

Stay away from the beards club

Stay the fuck away

Well the giant bearded man

Was gonna throw billy out

But Billy had come this far

He wasn’t giving up now

He grabbed the giants beard

And he tore it away

And everybody stared at his baby smooth face

The giants fake beard fell down

Down to the floor

The barman turned to the giant and said

Sorry, you’re not welcome here any more

Stay away from the beards club

Stay away from the beards club

Stay away from the beards club

Stay the fuck away

Welcome to the beards club

Welcome to the beards club

Welcome to the beards club

Welcome to the beards club

Beards