The King Who Wouldn't Smile - The Handsome Family

There was a king who wouldn’t smile

Sat on the toilet reading «The Trial.»

His dogs chased their tails 'round and 'round

Midget cars arrived stuffed with clowns who served him quail eggs on toast

There was a king who never laughed

Fell in love with a two-headed calf

Filled his bath with razor blades

Tattooed his arm with the ace of spades

But the grass made fun of his shoes

There was king who cried and cried

Mice crawled in his shoes to die

He cried so much that herds of deer gathered

To lick his salty tears so the king crawled under his bed

Like a fish at the bottom of a pail

Like a cricketswallowed by a whale

Like a chipmunk who’s chewed off his tail

The king who wouldn’t smile