Incredibad - The Lonely Island

Nowwwwwww let’s take a trip down memory lane

Back to junior high school where it all begain

Three bad little kids raisin hell at school

We were just 13, straight actin the fool

Every day after class Kiva’s house was the spot

Makin crazy prank calls hopin not to get caught

Best friends, blood brothers, yo we one and the same

'Til one fateful afternoon when everything changed

One day playin Punch Out up in Kiv’s room

The house started shakin and we heard a kaboom

Looked out the back window saw billowin smoke

Yo your backyard is smashed — man this isn’t a joke!

(Yo let’s go check this out man) (Aight bet, let’s go)

All the smoke and debris led straight to the basement

Yo what the hell is that?

Man it looks like a spaceship

We all ran for cover, as the hatch opened wide

And a little green dude stepped out from inside;

he said

I’m from Mars, and I come in peace

I have something to ask, and it’s not discrete

There’s a mutated strain in our DNA helix

And you three kids are the ones who can heal it

But we’re just thirteen man, what can we do?

Umm how should I put this?

I think we should screw

(What?!) On my home planet we can no longer breed

I’ve been sent as a receptacle to store your seed

Storin' our seed?

— Yo I think he means sex

Man, I’m a virgin — we all are — BET!

I’m just gonna lie here and close my eyes

Aww, what should we do?

Now he’s spreading his thighs!

You’ll be heroes on our planet But why us three?

You’re the chosen ones, you’ll just have to trust me

Yo, should we do it?

Man I don’t know

I say we put it to a vote (oh yeah) (yeah)

All in favor

Say aye… AYE~!

Okay, we’re in

Cool

Who should go first?

I have three depositories to capture your burst

Wait, so at the same time?

Yeah that’s what I was thinking

Here’s some wine coolers, let’s get you boys drinking

We pounded the drinks and, started gettin tipsy

Then took our positions, and started gettin frisky

One in the front, and two in the back

Had it locked up like a Chinese finger trap

Keep pumping away, my wife and family thank you

I’m about to explode — yo son, me too

THREE-WAY CLIMAX, best friends forever

What a blessing to have lost our virginity together

Yeah!

Andy, Jorma, Kiv', you’ve saved my race

Your reward is one wish then I’ll go back to space

We looked at each other, didn’t have to talk

Knew exactly what we wanted, before he took off

Mr. Alien Sir, for what it’s worth

WE WANT TO BE THE GREATEST FAKE MC’S ON EARTH

Your wish is granted and thanks again

I may have saved my planet but I’m losing three friends

What happened today was both incredible and bad

Therefore your name is Incredibad!

Incredibad…

STOP STOP STOP STOP, STOP!

SA-PRIZE, EVERYONE!

(sirens)