The Compliments - The Lonely Island, Too Short

Ladies, listen up, this song is for you

You know it’s hard out there tryna find a dude

But The Lonely Island’s got three top-notch brothers

So sit back and listen while they compliment each other

My man Kiv is the shit

Dude is thoughtful as fuck, plus his body is ripped

He’s a good listener even when he’s exhausted

And he’s crazy hygienic, always brushing and flossing

But that ain’t nothing compared to my main man, Jorm

The most sensitive, caring dude I’ve ever known

He’s got that sweet smile, he’s got that slow touch

What’s the sweet smell?

Oh shit, he cooked you brunch

But hold up, my man Andy’s got us both beat

He makes a skinny margarita that’s a wonderful treat

Plus caramel eyes that are hella disarming

He ain’t no fucking Prince, my man is King Charming

Jor, you’re far to kind—and speaking of kindness

My man Kiv’s been diagnosed with colorblindness

He loves all people, plus he’s got the fat dick

It’s like a gold brick, all shiny and thick

When they pitched me this song, they were kinda vague

But I said «fuck it, I’m in» 'cause they said I’d get paid

One thing’s for sure, these dudes are weird motherfuckers

So kick back and listen while they compliment each other

My man Jorm fucks all night

Call him Super Mario, 'cause he be laying the pipe

He got the eye contact like only you in the room

A modern-thinking man, he ain’t afraid of a broom

Yo, you talking feminism?

Andy loves that shit

Plus the femme fatales love him cause he’s got good dick

And he’s a giver: donates hella money to charity

He’s also got a great sense of humor—that's personality

I hate to interrupt, but I gotta interject

Kiv grinds his own espresso, has his own panini press

Kiv, so loyal when he makes his pick

That he’ll only think of you when he’s jacking his dick

He’s a shoulder to cry on when you’re down in the dumps

He’s an outfit to try on when you need a slam dunk

He’s an extra stirring hand when you’re making a soup

Take a ride in his coupe, he makes you wanna shoop

I’m starting to suspect that these dudes are gay

It’s none of my business, they just born this way

I mean, how many times you gon' mention your homie’s dick

But still tryin' act like this song is for chicks?

So ladies be warned before you hop under the covers

They might be fucking you but they’ll be thinking 'bout each other

The Compliments, bitch!