Five Ways To End It - The Long Blondes

A snakeskin shoe locked in his cupboard

A collected memento from a distant affair

Well I am the woman that it once belonged to

It’s lingering presence warns you to beware

Do you ever wonder why he still keeps it?

Do you even know if I gave back his key?

You said you’d discovered five ways to end it

Well Barbara I’m sorry, you didn’t fool me

It wouldn’t take more than five days to disown him…

Finish him with five ways to end it…

I find there’s more Hattie Jacques in his fancies

He wanted a woman to cling to you see

Drunk in the bath with his matronly missus

She’d make him happy when he could be with me

He takes all his women for decadent dinners

But expensive restaurants don’t mean a thing

When was the last time he grabbed you and kissed you?

I know you remember how it used to be

It wouldn’t take more than five days to disown him…

Finish him with five ways to end it…

(Silk suspenders in his drawer

Should be telling you so much more

But you’re affraid to look behind incase you find

The passport photos of someone who went before

How are you gonna do this?

Walk away from everything you know?

Where will you go?

I don’t know

He’s been doing this for years and can’t carry on

This is no Peter Roger’s Production

He’ll never be there

When you’re feeling depressed and you want him to care

You lie together in bed every night

You’ve never felt less loved.)

End in sight, Sunday night

He’s on the sofa — you did it alright

Take him out for a drink

Then tell him you’re leaving and watch him sink

You found out who you are

Now walk away slowly — you’re going to go far

Loving him will always hurt

And having those feelings will only break your heart…