When Federic Was a Little Lad - The Pirates Of Penzance

When Frederic was a little lad

he proved so brave and daring

His father thought he’d prentice him

to some career seafaring

I was, alas, his nurserymaid,

and so it fell to my lot

To take and bind the promising boy

apprentice to a pi-lot

A life not bad for a hearty lad

though surely not a high lot

Though I’m a nurse, you might do worse,

than make your boy a pi-lot.

I was a stupid nurserymaid,

on breakers always steering

And I did not catch the word a’right,

through being hard of hearing

Mistaking my instructions which

within my brain did gyrate

I took and bound this promising boy

apprentice to a pi-rate

A sad mistake it was to make,

and doom him to a vile lot

I bound him to a pirate, YOU,

instead of to a pi-lot.

I soon found out beyond all doubt

the scope of this disaster

But I hadn’t the face to return to my place

and break it to my master

A nursing maid is not afraid

of what you people call work

So I made up my mind to go as a kind

of piratical maid of all work

And that is how you find me now

a member of this shy lot

Which you wouldn’t have found

had he been bound

apprentice to a pi-lot.