Way Deeper Down - The Stupendium

Sans:

…so I said 'Patella?

I barely know her!'

Papyrus:

Sans!

Stop your tomfoolery!

We are here to stand guard!

Wait here and keep your eyes out for humans!

Sans:

Eyes out?

My eyes came out years ago!

Well what do we got here???

They call me Sans, I’m the serif of these parts

Nahh, Just kiddin', I work on a grease cart

Grilling up hot dogs and genocidal toddlers

You can run but I’ll know if you restart

If you want a bad time then you’re in the right place,

Just Look into my eye, see my funny type-face

I’m really quite a nice guy but if you pick a fight

I will hunt you all your life through time and space

Can you blame me if I feel a little hubris?

For my fame for making things a little humerus?

I can tickle your bones to the tibia toes

Well unless you’re my bro, jokes flow over his head…

Sans?!

Who’s there?

you ridiculous scamp!

No-one!

It’s just an inconspicuous lamp!

(if you ever meet a skeleton in towels and some wellingtons)

(Just humour him and let him win and think that he’s a champ.)

I bet you think you’ve never met a skeleton?

Well I’ll bet you’ve Mettaton!

They just had a bunch of gooey melanin and flesh upon

But Never one was in the upper echelon of clever puns

I’ll make you laugh or cry depending on the run you’ve set upon

We’re spooky, scary sending shivers down your spine

You best prepare for a hilariously bad time!

Every human one day ends up six feet underground

But you’re heading for a grave that’s buried way, way deeper down

Nyagh!

A human!

Call the guards!

…Wait a minute.

That’s my job!

To capture and nab you won’t be hard

This maze is made WITH ELECTRIC CHARGE!

…Wait, how did you get this far?

It took 3 weeks to erect this part!

I genuinely didn’t expect this, darn!

How DID you correctly guess this path?!

I am PAPYRUS!

Traps set!

Armed and ready!

There’s medals on my armour already, oh plus some spaghetti…

You’re nervous!

But, oh that is good spaghetti…

Where was I?

I keep on forgetting…

I am PAPYRUS!

Best chef in the king’s brigade!

With the culinary skills to leave you flambéed!

It’s a shame that after you taste my blade

You won’t have space for my Bolognese!

So I guess you could say that they pasta-way?

Sans!

Is this how you have to behave?

I’m trying to challenge this dastardly knave!

But now I’ve run out of bars and they just ran away!

We’re spooky, scary sending shivers down your spine

I serve spaghetti and incredibly good rhymes!

Every human one day ends up six feet underground

But you’re heading for a grave that’s buried way, way deeper down

So you took a little fall?

Do you think you’ve got the gall to survive

extermination?

Trapped deep below and all you’ve got to show is your determination!

There’s no tu-Toriel it’s Asgore-y as can be!

Will the weight of your sins leave you Snowdin?

There’s no mercy!

Who dares disturb me from my slumber?

Stick around, This’ll be a fun number

I’m truly versed in tearing all the universe asunder

But I also have a specialty in unlucky spelunkers

I’m a puzzle in a bubble in the stuff of your dreams

Rupture realities and guzzle on the stuff in between

You’ll be befuddled when I mussel in and muddle the scenes

Hit the shuffle and I’ll tunnel through the fuzz on your screen

You’re in trouble, you see, If you try to tussle with the W. D

You’ll take a tumble then you’ll crumble into rubble- debris

I bring the muscle to the scuffle plus a couple of beams

But my blasters won’t be loud enough to muffle your screams

When you’re caught in the cycle of an undying skeleton

Might as well strive to be front of the peloton

Top of my field but out of my elements

Testing your death would be a welcome experiment

I reign eternal so be certain that I’m well rehearsed

Rhymes so very fine that every line feels like a multi-verse

Every parallel dimension is at my command

But when it comes to spitting fire I’ve the matter in hands

We’re spooky, scary sending shivers down your spine

I’m outside of time and space but I’m afraid you’re just out of time!

Every human one day ends up six feet underground

But you’re heading for a grave that’s buried way, way deeper down