Aging Orange - The Vandals

I’m Palm Palm head and I wrote one good song

But that was almost 20 years ago

I tried and I tried to follow it up

But you know how those sophomore jinxes go

So I became quite bitter

As sales dropped like flies

No one likes these dumb songs

Of racing cars and spies

Maybe it’s my ape drape

Or hippies in my band

But now we only tour

In Arizona or Japan

So after much thought and a panel of experts

I came up with a brilliant little plan

I’ll take out my frustrations

On one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands

Cuz I invented socks

And I invented gravy

I made up the cotton gin

But no one ever paid me

Why beat a dead horse

With a career that is cursed?

I’ll just sue for royalties

On things I thought of first

Back in Ancient Egypt many Pharaohs went to jail

For misappropriation of my Phrigian scale

I said listen to Tutankhamen, you’re driving me insane

It’s obvious those bellies are all dancing to Bloodstains

I figured out you owe me and please try not to laugh

But every time I hear it I get one more golden calf

So I’ve bitten off a sizable chunk

Of the hands of the people with the food

Now I’m confined to the pages of Flipside

A graveyard of punk rock’s 35 year old dudes

So I invented socks

And I invented gravy

I made up the cotton gin

But no one ever paid me

Why beat a dead horse

With a career that is cursed?

I’ll just sue for royalties

On things I thought of first

Palm Palm!

Palm Palm!

Palm Palm!

Palm Palm!

Ape Drape!

Ape Drape!

Poodle Head!

Poodle Head!