I Don't Want Kids - Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq, Ben Dawson

I’m tired of conversations with my friends and family

About what I think the future holds for my best girl and me

I fully understand exactly what they’re driving at

And unfortunately my answer tends to leave them somewhat flat

Unsubtle hints are met with awkwardness

So I feel I am required to confess

I don’t want kids

I just want pets

I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets

Your kids are fine

Cause they’re not mine

To me a life lived without children sounds divine!

I tried to make excuses when folks arrive with their baby

There’s nothing I dread more than someone handing it to me

But declining offers to have them rested on your knee

Makes one a pariah within polite society

The room looks round with eyes of pure dismay

And no one will believe it when you say…

I don’t want kids (I don’t want kids!)

I just want pets (I just want pets!)

I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets

Your kids are fine (Your kids are fine!)

'Cause they’re not mine ('Cause they’re not mine!)

To me a life lived without children sounds divine

I know children can be fun

And yours I’m very fond of, it is true

The advantage is that when I grow weary of their noise

I can direct them back to you

I don’t want kids (I don’t want kids!)

I just want pets (I just want pets!)

I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets

Your kids are fine (Your kids are fine!)

'Cause they’re not mine ('Cause they’re not mine!)

To me a life lived without children sounds divine

I don’t want kids (I don’t want kids!)

I just want pets (I just want pets!)

I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets

Your kids are fine (Your kids are fine!)

'Cause they’re not mine ('Cause they’re not mine!)

To me a life lived without children sounds divine