The Big House - Tina Fey, Josh Groban

Hit it boys

This is Russia’s premier state funded hotel

We’re very proud of our eclectic clientele

Excellence in service since 1932

Don’t believe what you read in the online reviews

It’s the Big House

The perfect getaway

Welcome into the Big House

You’ll never get away

It’s no Hilton or no Hyatt

But you will have a riot

So please enjoy your stay

Here’s the dining room, the menu is minimal

What the cook does to the food is criminal

Pull up a seat frog, grab yourself a stool

May I recommend you try our famous gruel

In the Big House

You’ll never be alone

Life ain’t bad in the Big House

No, froggy, no

Check out after ten

Or eleven years

Make yourself at home

Accommodation is far superior

Than anything else you will find in Siberia

Let me know if there’s anything you need

Everything is free, money back guaranteed

In the Big House, you will not survive

When you arrive in the Big House, run for your life

It’s the Big House

The perfect getaway

Welcome into the Big House

You’ll never get away

For your security

I’ll keep the only key

Now please enjoy your stay