Bankrupt - Wreck and Reference

I fashioned myself a hatred for beauty

Envy steeped in alcohol for eight months

I found myself spitting on murals of possibilities

And waking up with bloody fists

I sewed into my arm a reminder of the dread of waking

Not that it was necessary, but like a flare shot into the sea

It signaled to the emptiness that I was ready

I woke up vomiting, disgorged a collection of corroded copper coins

Arranging their paltry worth, upon my sunburned chest

And begging anyone to rake them off

I dug into the dew-laden soil, a hole of perfect depth

This accumulated language, bankrupt and tawdry

Throw it in and grasp my throat with fury

Every thought absurd

Every word empty

Every error exposed

Every moment wasted