Flag Roast - Zach Sherwin

It’s a flag roast, I’m gonna roast some flags

And I don’t want to show off, boast, or brag

But you know I’ve got the devastating gags and jokes

I’m getting agro;

It’s a flag roast

I mean I murder flags when I put 'em on blast

All surviving flags should be at half mast

Show me any flag and that flag’s toast

Listen close, it’s a flag roast

I verbally defile banners in a highly vile manner

Hey, Isle of Man, I demand some answers

Why’s your logo so bizarre?

Three disembodied legs fused into a ninja throwing star?

Don’t get me wrong though, your self-esteem should be strong

You came up with the three-strap thong

And of all the world’s flags yours is top of the list

In terms of the amount of crotch it depicts

Here’s Bhutan, I want to commend them

Congrats guys, you really nailed it on the emblem

The symbol of your heritage and glory?

Falcor, the Luck Dragon from the NeverEnding Story

C’mon, I’m just goofing Bhutansters

That dragon on your flag is the scariest of monsters

Although, he looks pretty frail and he fails

When you weigh him on the scales against this bad ass from Whales

Right?

That’s a way tougher dragon

If they got to scrapping, imagine what would happen

I’ll do some reenactin':

RAAH

RRR

RAAH

RRR

PTCH PTCH

Monaco’s design was fine, but it was stolen

By Indonesia, Singapore, and Poland!

You all should be ashamed that you came to such a lame decision

That’s flag plagiarism, or flagiarism

Flags get laced like High Tops

You better brace for the flag bombs I drop

Here’s Mauritania

Or as I call it: The Jolly Green Cyclopes

And not to make you blush or turn crimson

But the flag of Antigua and Barbuda is kind of like glimpsin'

A first-person view of performing oral sex on Lisa Simpson

Right?

You got the hair and the pink thighs and the dress and the underwear

Look, the Simpsons premiered in 1989

She’s a grown woman by now

This is not creepy

«Did he talk about Lisa Simpson’s vag?

Gross!»

Toughen up wimps, it’s a flag roast!

Man, if flags had feet, they’d get their toes tagged

I put 'em in body bags when I roast flags

You should pity any flag that I zing

Cause dag, the sting is agonizing

I’m that dude who will rag on your flag the most

Zach Sherwin with the flag roast