Hump Day - Chris Webby

Yeah

You know, some of the motherfuckers out here acting like I don’t still got bars

Like this isn’t exactly what the fuck I do!

Heh… stupid motherfuckers, yeah

My DNA litty, frame skinny and brain witty

With weed in my jeans, my mom’s a straight hippie

Keep a tight circle of those that bring with me

Rocking Timberland boots and we bang Biggie

You dig me?

Pulling up while puffing the sticky

With a bird, like I got some Snuffleupagus in me

Getting faded every single time I come to your city

I’ll be up at the local bar like Always Sunny in Philly

Keep it a hundred and fifty

No lil dicky, bitch I’m medium sized

Doing whatever is needed for my piece of the pie

Jacked up on so many damn amphetamines that I believe I can fly

Brain and Pinky with the scheme I devised

Diso-bidient mind, making G’s on the grind

Webby make your head nod, put your seat in recline

With that throwback steeze

Like somebody learned to freeze it in time

Prince of Persia with the meanest of rhymes

(An emcee in his prime, you feel me?)

What you see though?

The great Bambino

Knock it out the park with unadulterated primo

Marlo Stanfield got that work for the fiends

And I’m rackin' up streams, makin' Spotify see notes

My fam is so Italian my uncle was Vito, Corleone

Shit you could ask my cousin Pacino, I Pesci up casino

We toast a cup of the vino

Cuz see us skinnies go back like Barney Rubble and Dino

(yeah I mean yo, yo)

You don’t really wanna see these lyrics in action

They only talk about me quiet cuz they fear my reaction

And on the mic, actual fire appears when I’m rappin'

It’s no coincidence I was born in the year of the dragon

1988 see, I’m a veteran millennial

With ADHD, and the heaviest of medical

Respect me as the general or I’m crackin' your skeletal

Then smash your ventricles with the force of the Kraken’s tentacles

(I hope you’re flexible)

Been doubted by every board and panel

And record executive taste-maker and blog writer who saw my channel

So now I put 'em on blast, I’m on that Stormy Daniels Roman candle

I’m that firecracker flyin' off the handle

Tony Soprano, boss of the bosses

Climbin' up that ladder 'til I got the corner office

Stackin' orders, fatten wallets

Take my piece and then I give a chunk to some environmental causes

(And save the dolphins)

They think I’m illustrated rockin' a tank top

Tats lookin' like I’m gettin' sponsored by Gamestop

Super Mario, I keep that fireball flame hot

Sewer drain hop from Peach Castle to Bangkok

(Let the bass knock)

It’s too grimy to fight it

Got 'em sweatin' from the second that my fire’s ignited

And I’ll still be showin' up even if I ain’t invited

Shit you gon' have to drag me out like I was flyin' United

(Get the fuck off me!)

'Cause I’m that legend of the hidden temple

I spit it mental on an instrumental

Do it for the culture, fuck if imma win a medal

That or get a grammy, imma never find that shit essential

I’m just here to watch these rappers sweatin' when I grip a pencil

I’m influential as I’m servin' rap caviar, you know

Havin' bars, spittin' flows, fuckin' rappin' hard

And Lil Xan looks like a lesbian muppet

But since I’m cuttin' back on drugs imma only give him half a bar

(2Pac is not boring!)

XXL just keeps makin' lists

Whether freshmen or otherwise, I ain’t been on shit

I been waitin' for a lot of years to say this, so here we go, uh

Double XL, suck my dick

God damn that felt good, I just had to mention it

I know that written print is in decline, they ain’t sellin' shit

And now they’re barely graspin' onto any shred of relevance

But, their fall from grace is somethin' I would love to help 'em with

(This shit is effortless)

I never let 'em take my passion from me

Even here and now when finally I’m stackin' money

'Cause it’s still the same Webby, I ain’t actin' funny

I’m still out here writin' chapters in how to rap for dummies

'Cause I’m back to talk shit about the whole damn globe, bitch

Put 'em in the Conan choke grip

If you can’t see that I’m the truth then imma change y’all focus

It’s Wednesday, so put the whole game on notice, bitch

Yeah, I’m back

If I don’t get 'em this week, or the week after that

Or the week after that one, I promise you

One of these motherfuckin' Wednesdays, they gon' learn

They gon' learn!