Our Twisted Fate - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Adam Schlesinger

We are merely pretzels

That is all we are

This woman’s obsession with us

Is frankly quite bizarre

We used to simply be

A starchy snack that people ate

But, now, we are a symbol

Such is our twisted fate

We’ve been smothered in the mustard

Of her quest for happiness

There’s a lot of pressure on us

This we must confess

We didn’t ask to be in charge

Of someone’s mental state

Just let us be some happy carbs

Spare us this twisted fate

We’ve been a-salted by her yearning

To make her life a cogent tale

Sure, it’s nice to be kneaded

But, now, the whole thing’s getting stale

Oh, can’t some soft and chewy pretzels

Finally get relief

We are hurtin' from the burden

Of being someone’s life motif

She should switch to pizza bagels

If it’s not too late

It’s the yeast that she could do

To save us from this twisted fate