How to Wreck Your Life in Three Days - Cretin

fire." Then the cancer took him. We never even hugged. He kept making me repeat

it.

The next day, I got in a wreck.

I suppose you heard this on the news.

Exchanging info, I was suddenly

overwhelmed and tipped a lighter to the pool of gas beneath my car.

Took care of that problem!

And

when I got home, my landlord started nagging me about the rent I was behind.

Problem: rent.

Solution:

fire.

I watched the blaze from across the street.

Day two.

I hid from the cops and kept fixing problems.

This alerted them more

quickly.

The answer to

the cop car was gasoline.

Then I solved a dog that barked at me.

I scorched all my hair and went to the

store to get something for my burns, but had to burn down the store instead.

Sure, problems turned to

ash, but fire has a way of catching.

Today is the third day since dad died.

Mom, I know he found me disappointing,

and I was only looking to

say goodbye, but what did he mean—mean about the fire?

I think the problem

might really be me.

I’m

the problem.

The problem and the fixer.

Problem: me.

So- lution: fire.

I know what he was trying to say.

«Boy, you were always a problem.

Fix this with fire.»