DLC PLC - Dan Bull

Downloadable content’s a load of nonsense

I won’t give them one cent

It wouldn’t be conscientious

Encouraging dodgy ventures

Like when you’ve been robbed

Do you get your property straight back from the fences?

I wanna know what the defence is

Hence this musical census

Pay attention to community consensus

To prevent this backlash of hashtags

And truly contentious lambasts, e.g.

«I hope you’re shoving your Prothean

Up your fallopian»

No wonder the planet’s becoming dystopian

Draconian Napoleons invoking pandemonium

And I might be blowin' my own euphonium

By «in' this

But I know I’m not the only one that’s pissed

My data’s trapped inside the disc

Sat in lines of script

And I have to pay to take it out

What kind of shit is this?

It’s the DLC PLC

Where we make money sellin' people

Things that were free

Welcome to the DLC PLC

Where we charge you for things

You bought previously

No need to be dishonest

The incompleted product’s a piece of bollocks

So please give me the pieces of it

And leave my wallet, I need the dollars

But don’t be extremely bothered

I’ll probably buy the sequel of it

'Cause that’s the key

The reason it keeps on happening, it’s obvious

If you pay them quids they take the piss

And get away with it

Until they’re pinchin' all your paper

Like a paperclip

«And what would our forefathers

Have thought of horse armor?

It’s all rather an awful palaver

Perhaps I should make a call and talk to Obama»

You’re causing drama

And according to the laws of karma

Stir the water, sure enough

Of course you’ll taunt the poor piranhas

So try to pull my jaws apart

I’m sure you can’t

I’m sinkin' my teeth into the greed

Inherently buried in DLC things

Hidden fees and prices surprising me like bee stings

«Is it any wonder we punters are seething»

At the DLC PLC

Where we make money sellin' people

Things that were free

Welcome to DLC PLC

Where we charge you for things

You bought previously

I’m sorry, but Verse 3 is only available in the Premium version of this song

If you would like to acquire the Premium version

Then please bend over with your VISA, American Express or MasterCard lodged

tightly between your buttocks

Thank you for your continued loyalty

From everybody

At the DLC PLC

Where we make money sellin'

People things that were free

Welcome to DLC PLC

Where we charge you for things

You bought previously

The DLC PLC

The DLC PLC

Downloadable content… what is it?

What use does it have?

What function does

it serve?

I mean, obviously I know the answer, but it’s a sort of rhetorical

question I suppose.

So maybe you think about it whether… whether it’s good

for the gaming community, whether it’s good for the industry, what your

thoughts about it are.

I’m very keen to know!