I Am the Inquisitor - Dan Bull

Ah, hallo, Sire.

Shall we travel to the Fallow Mire?

These hallowed grounds face a threat that’s hella dire

And I’m telling buyers beware of where you buy your wares

Check their origin like I did when I bought BioWare’s

In the Arbor Wilds I hear there’s a Fade Rift

And we need to rescue Farmer Giles somewhere near Redcliffe

We’re almost at the Storm Coast, Val Royeaux’s no more close

I sleep in a tent depending on events otherwise I’m in a bed with four posts

I suppose I had better be fetching my coat

Cause there’s some Red Templars in the Western Approach

Oh!

The Breach leaves the sky cold up in Skyhold

But I can afford to heat it, see this huge pile of my gold

No influenza, with these treaties I’m an influencer

Think you can beat me?

Name a date and place, where and when, sir?

Should I spit ten bars or pages?

Support Templars or Mages?

Collect Shards or guess star constellations and arrangements?

Seal rifts shut in Thedas, kick butt and save ass

With great gallantry, level up and upgrade my talent tree

Cause it ain’t just hard in Hightown, like a tale that Varric weaves

There’s an ancient massive effect, I may as well just save the galaxy

I am the Inquisitor, a Fade visitor

Zipping up the rifts with a fist is my signature finisher

My team administers me with the means to win imminently

And I may say that they do it magnificently

Once more unto the Breach, dear friends

Once more!

Because Corypheus wants war

Once more unto the Breach, dear friends

Once more!

We’ll see if Corypheus wants more

We’ll see if Corypheus wants more

Or whether he’s had enough

He’s a bit tired

And now he just wants to go home for tea

I’ve got the dopest team in Leliana

Josephine, Cullen, Cassandra

Solas, Sera, Blackwall, Dorian

Cole, Vivienne, Varric, Bull, Morrigan

Call us the D A Team: the Dannish Inquisition

Vacancies, apply within if you think you can fill this grand position

Corypheus has delusions of grandeur

A ridiculous man pursuing the Anchor

But hang on, you can pray and thank the maker in the Chantry later

Wait 'til Dan obliterates that manky mangy agitator

Blast this antagonist as if he’s had a Dragon’s Kiss

Leave him hanging there and haggard like a pair of sagging tits

In comparison I’m an ample and elegant breast

Not an Iron Bull but I am Bull nevertheless, yes!

Yes blud, I’m the Tim Westwood of Crestwood

The Method Man of the Hinterlands, Haven was the best hood

But my terrain ranges from Exalted Plains to Emerald Graves

When I stray there’s no limit to who and where I will save

Between Ferelden and Orlais, I seem to be helping them all day

These Orlesians' decor schemes are really well bloody ornate

I’ve heard the myths but this is divine living

Like when I’m giving a wyvern a whiff of the rhythm

I witness how quick it’ll give in

Give them a kick in the face from the Forbidden Oasis

To the Hissing Wastes to paraphrase Sera: This is a pissing disgrace

Damn son, I’ve had it with Samson

I’m going to get ever so terribly nasty

That’s what happens whenever you mess with the Herald of Andraste

I am the Inquisitor, a Fade visitor

Zipping up the rifts with a fist is my signature finisher

My team administers me with the means to win imminently

And I may say that they do it magnificently

Once more unto the Breach, dear friends

Once more!

Because Corypheus wants war

Once more unto the Breach, dear friends

Once more!

We’ll see if Corypheus wants more

We’ll see if he wants more… once more

Once more…