Steamworld Quest (The Epic Rap of Gilgamech) - Dan Bull

Attention, adventurer!

Fetch a couple of friends at once

And then come up to the entrance of my den the one with the pretentious front

See my intention is to send you on a journey

Just sign here, here and here, no need to pester your attorney

I can assure you all it’s all above board, ensuring your return

It’s all insured and after all I’m sure you can all afford a gurney

Right then, who’s ready for excitement?

Who’s very good at delicately repelling furry pikemen?

Excelling when you fight them, dishing out heroic strikes

No crying either, I require my hires to be the stoic type

And go in like the clappers, arms flailing like some nineties rappers

Hyped up to slap whatever surprise attackers might come at us

Psychopathic type, to grab a tiger by the knackers

Stare him right in the eye and sigh «pff, like it matters»

Crikey, that was quite a tangent, let me wind it back a tad

I’m combining violent acts with grinding knights and baccarat

My new type of battle rap, thrice as nice as past examples

We three are the real deal, you’re manufactured plastic samples

I’m basked in candlelight, casting magic from fantastic angles

Like hammers smacking anvils so fast

Your wider family’s entire future, present and their past is canceled

I know that has to rankle, but show me that you’re thankful

And I might just let you leave the table breathing

Without the need for fatal beatings to alleviate your evil deeds

We are by far the hardest

Of ménage à trois this side of Mars

No need to mine for gold now, we’re bringing giant bars

You can’t be coming in our town and chucking your cards down

You just interrupted a game, look this is my round

So shut up and be quiet now, before you get sparked out

'Cause every crustacean’s just made of mush under that hard shell

We’ll fight peasants, knights, kings crying «guards, help»

While we rain fire down and shout «where are your gods now?»

But you know what?

There’s more to us than all the pain we’re dealing

What about the pain we’re feeling, too, that pain needs healing

There’s only so much strain a lone brain can take and keep in

From the nascent morning’s warm rays to evening

Before the walls will break and all the caged frustration seeps in

We’re waist deep in freezing water that won’t wait to deepen

Each of us believes we’re alone in separated pieces

But this way of thinking’s way too frequent, so we need to change the sequence

We need to speak to mates that we relate to who may be feeling

Each as isolated and unappreciated and drained of meaning

It’s a way to vent and ventilate, the steam you may be breathing

Put together we can overcome our heads and slay the demons

Make a team, cooperate, collaborate cohesively

And we will take on what we face and beat the danger easily

Trivia, you can’t spell steam without team

Facts, you can’t expect help without saying «help me»

Without being down to help out with the helping

And you can’t be down to help out without helping

And you can’t help out without helping yourself

Here’s a helping of self-help, stop doubting yourself now

'Cause if you can’t help doubting I doubt the doubt’s helping

But anyway, I digress

This song’s about steamworld quest