The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot - Dan Bull

It’s.

The.

Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Going face, to face with the best of the best

In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

Look, I was never a chap

To simply select between defend and attack

So if anyone asks for trouble

I’m going to be doubly sending them back

The throne is mine

I’m ending any pretender to that

I’m sensing a lack of courage

Such that you won’t even reach the end of the track

I’ve been training at dawn

Every day to be ready for the Great Big Battle

Evading traps all day while I’m raiding castles

And I’m aiming at fools with such deviousness

That it’s even leaving mages baffled

Debasers, Crabs or gelatinous walls

I’m hacking them all

Jabbing and brawling, having a ball

And sending them packing their bags in the hall

If Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

Then I probably hit him

It’s the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Going face, to face with the best of the best

In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

(Pay attention!)

I’m raiding your mates, and taking everything that they bought

I fought them in their forts, blood sport’s the way it’s paid for

And I’m a great sport, wielding a greatsword

Treat your face like I’m walloping a baseball

I drop the Painhammer, like my surname

And I certainly know to make the most of my fame

Man, I treat merchandising opportunities as prudently

As a morbidly obese Beastman would treat the food he eats

I’m a greedy bugger

Me and my money, we need each other

I’m bringing enough bling

To sting the vision of Stevie Wonder

I’m applying oceans, of potions

Like lotion, ‘til I’m not even trying

I’m just going through the motions

It’s the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Going face, to face with the best of the best

In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

The sight of my castle’s really something in the sky

Your is as useless as a Cyclops with something in its eye

And in particular, a chicken as vicious as this is ridiculous

I think an efficient and fitting prescription is if we could give them

Barbiturates

I’m clad in heavy armour, you’re dressed like a belly dancer

Your smelly archers made me catch my breath, Kelly Clarkson

I lunge a lot at Hungerbots and snotty Snottinghams

And any funds they drop, well I’ll probably pocket them

I poke my sword at the Terroraptor Overlord

Quick, grab the stash, and throw ourselves overboard

It’s the only life I know, it’s how I do things

In Opulencia you get rich or die looting

It’s the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Going face, to face with the best of the best

In the Mightiest Quest, are you ready for the test?

Based on your base, well I never would have guessed

It just keeps.

Getting.

Better!