The Stick of Truth - Dan Bull

A cup of Fairy Ale isn’t much if not accompanied

By some bardic poems and songs

For a thousand years, the battle has been waged

But there’s strange tidings, the tides of war are sure to change

We live in sinister times, there’s an imminent fight

Bigger than Kyle’s mom, have you seen her behind?

A hero will rise, he needs to be wise

And Jews can’t be saviours, so it’s best he isn’t circumcised

There’s whisperings around these parts of a new kid

There’s a house on Fuller Street that they say he moved in

I hear tell he’s a muteling, he doesn’t speak much

It has nothing to do with the game’s pre-release budget

We need a saviour greater than the Dragonborn

Let me consult my magic tome stashed away within this stack of porn

There’s Cartman, Grand Wizard ruling Kupa Keep

Where you can barter, buy some armour or just find some food to eat

This is the tent in which we kept the Stick of Truth but see

Clyde had one job, and he messed it up quite stupidly

And so now, new kid, it’s up to you to seek

And return the Stick to its place to break the losing streak

Let us proceed in this hour of darkness

With the courage of dragons, and the power of fart mist

Through towers and arches, we scour the territories

Whether showers or fire pits, disembowel our enemies

The sourest hardships will never defeat our people

We keep releasing lethal farts that are without equal

An ancient secret: the Nagasaki Fart

Leave you with a bleeding nose and looking like you party hard

With such an epic quest, you need a band of merry men

To dig up buried treasure chests and see you to the very end

Butters is a Paladin, Stan’s a Warrior with A. D

Kenny is a Princess, don’t ask why, that’s how he’s rolling lately

And Kyle finally acknowledges his true self

As he transmutes into the form of a High Jew Elf

So go forth now, blow the war horn

I will stay and guard the Keep and maybe look at more porn

Use your power shrewdly, or never see your enemy fall

Because one does not simply fart on anyone’s balls

Battle Underpants Gnomes, Goblins and Vampire Kids

The town relies on you to undo that which has been did

In you we trust, I’ve prophesied your destiny

Put an end to evil in the nuts like a vasectomy