Finally Home - Şevin

It’s been six months since I snatched up my pen to write

Overwhelmed by this hell and tremendous plight

I’m asking peace could you spend the night

There was a time I saw clearly

But I’m weary and I’ve dimmed the lights

Stretched to my limits and I’m wishing God would end my life

Still protecting my image I pretend to fight

Shedding tears on divorce papers that I send my wife

Back in the hood, look around ain’t got a friend in sight

Born feeling like the Golden child

But I’m older now, war torn soul of Colin Powell

I’m cold and foul and stuck with this low morale

And I don’t know how to cope cause I’m sober now

Watching everything I worked for the last few years

Become everything that’s hurtful, alas new fears

But the masks dude wears ain’t no glass you hear

He drinks pain from a cup and he ain’t splashed two tears

If I knew then what I know now

Sorry but I just didn’t know how

To make it right I push through the pain and strife

Trying to find my way home

If it wears me I’d never tell you

I’d promise that I would never fail you

My hearts gone cold on this long hard road

And I’m finally home

And I’m sitting in the storm when its pouring

But I like when it wets me

Something about the strife that affects me heart icy as Gretzky

Trying to get away from life it won’t let me

The ropes to tight on my neck see

I’m infatuated with the cage I wouldn’t like to be set free

The one’s who supposed to love me

Rather fight than accept me

Skip one skip two go right into step three

On the roof with a cross hoping lighting don’t deck me

And blood it’s sad we couldn’t hold on to what we had

Square woman with a gutter lad

Hope that little nigga meant what he said

When he wished he had another dad

Cause there’s going to be another lover in his mothers pad

I keep my head on through the drama knowing that

Life brings pain, yup domino effect

Suppressing notions of emotions and my prayers show it

No, I don’t care for it but yo I’m prepared for it

And I’m back on my grind last time just God and me

Flame dumping pain pumping through my artery

I will never again let a woman harness me

Honestly right now I feel enormous B

Enough to put a pharmacy to in my palm and see

If the pills that it is filled with can calm the see

I trust the one from the tomb who was honorably

Was resurrected and his wounds can make Thomas see

I ain’t sweating all this threaten in economy

And I ain’t caring if them terrorist is bombing me

Cause all I see this ministers throne of grace

And the King who sits in it with a glowing face

I know the cobra waits, for me to fold and break

If the load is great then he cultivates no mistakes

Yes, that’s how I know I get the victory

Today’s tribulation is just tomorrows history

I’m here cause he chose me, not cause I chose him

I’m knowing I owe him a lot more than moping

And not being broken and opening up

The very word he has spoken and soaking it up

So Master can I ask ya, to forgive my blasphemy

And give me strength so I can give you what you ask of me

And I’m never holding back

Until I get to heaven and i’m never knowing lack