Surrender - Şevin

Oh yes

Lord I surrender

Though it hurts sometimes

Oh yes I surrender

Ohhhh

Yo

My poppa was a preacher but his poppa was absentee

He did the best he could

To keep his son from living fast and free

Religious rules and Christian schools

The other children laughed at me

Plus we never had much green so I never did dress fashionably

Everybody wore the same ol' smile

But it was just a mask to me

I saw through the hypocrisy

When the pastor made a pass at me

That bastard had a class of us

He kept asking us to do nasty things

To the point I have the baddest dreams of…

Savage things attacking me

We moved away but you could say

The tragedy had a lasting reach

Blocked out any memory

Still can’t stand to hear no pastor preach

By now I’m about eleven

And I’ve learned life comes with hazards B

Sometimes I just break out in tears

A dark cloud seems to pass through me

My best friend was my blood brother

And at thirteen he died tragically

And after he passed in that car crash

I wished that that was me

I had a heart but life ripped that apart and gave me apathy

I felt God did not look after me

All I had for Him is blasphemy

The rain falls on us all

The good and the bad

Same thing that’ll make you laugh

One day well it’s gone make you sad

And now I see

I gotta walk by faith and never walk by sight no

I don’t understand Your ways

But I know you’re always right

And I surrender

I surrender

I surrender

Although it hurts sometimes

Yeah

Aye I went from good kid to a hood kid

Seemed like the change came overnight

Life cloaked him with a heart that’s frozen

Rollin' on a stolen bike

Smoking like a chimney

With a semi sitting in that holster tight

And every other word was blood

No love for who we ‘posed to fight

Went from praying prayers like

«Lord I love You I’ll keep you close, aight?»

To «I don’t know if You even there

Just help me not get smoked tonight»

So enticed by the thought of being loved

I’d pay the coldest price

I done sat inside a cell for niggas

I was never even thrown a kite

Rebellin' against the God I hate

I blamed Him for my loaded life

What made it worse I played with curses

Even though I know what’s right

I used to ask church folk why life’s so hard

But I got no advice

Or they’d just relay a bunch of clichés that don’t suffice

Depressed and half psychotic

Narcotics are my chosen vice

Consumed with idols

Suicidal by eighteen I tried more than twice

Married to this selfish pride

I seen the devil throw the rice

And every day I dwell inside this hell till he tells me roll the dice

I said the rain falls on us all

Said the good and the bad

Same thing that’ll make you laugh

Today well ya know it’ll make you sad

And now I see

I gotta walk by faith and not by sight

I don’t understand Your ways and oh Lord

But I know you’re always right

And I surrender

I surrender

I surrender

Although it hurts sometimes

Aye

So bitter and so broken my soul’s soaking in misery

With no hope for the future though

Cuz I’m so focused on history (none)

Till one day someone cared enough

To share just what You did for me (what?)

I can quickly see how differently you act

From the Christians I’m witnessing

You lived this thing called love

While all of us are just so nitpicky (uh huh)

You are righteousness You gave Your life for us… literally

The thought that You’re the one I hated sickens me (yeah!)

It’s a trip to me how quickly we fall into iniquity (I'm sorry!)

Even though I acted wickedly (what?)

You still chose to sit with me (why?)

I’m the worst one on the court Lord

But yet You still keep picking me (You do!)

It now becomes so vividly

Clear that every test and every trial

Was predestined and the outcome was Your victory

Thank you

I said the rain fall yes it does

On the good and the bad oh Lord

Same thing that’ll make us laugh

One day is gonna make us sad

And now I see by your grace

I gotta walk by faith and not by sight

Yeah I know I’ll never understand Your ways Lord

But I know you’re always right

And I surrender

I surrender

I surrender

Ohhhh yes