House of Blues - George Carlin

And here… as long as we’re talking about theme restaurants, I got a proposition for you.

I think if white people are gonna burn down black churches, then black people ought to burn down the House of Blues!

Huh?

What a fucking disgrace that place is!

The House of Blues… they ought to call it the House of Lame White Motherfuckers;

inauthentic, low frequency, single-digit, lame, white motherfuckers… especially these male movie stars who think they’re blues artists.

You ever see these guys?

Don’t you just wanna puke in your soup when one of these fat, balding, overweight, overaged, out of shape, middle aged, male movie stars with sunglasses jumps onstage and starts blowing into a harmonica?

It’s a fucking sacrilege!

In the first place, white people got no business playing the blues ever at all under any circumstances ever, ever, ever!

What the fuck do white people have to be blue about?

Banana Republic ran out of khakis?

Huh?

The espresso machine is jammed?

Hootie and the Blowfish are breaking up?

Shit, white people ought to understand their job is to give people the blues, not to get them… and certainly not to sing or play them.

Tell you a little secret about the blues;

it’s not enough to know which notes to play, you gotta know why they need to be played, and another thing… I don’t think white people should be trying to dance like blacks.

Stop that!

Stick to your faggoty polkas and waltzes and that repulsive country line-dancing shit that you do and be yourself, be proud, be white, be lame, and get the fuck off the dance floor!