NASA-Holes - George Carlin

And just to wind up this little group of complaints finally this is a group of social criminals.

These people in the space program.

Nassholes.

I call them.

In case you haven’t heard.

The latest disaster for the rest of the universe is that the United States is going to go to Mars.

Okay, aw yeah.

We’re going to go to Mars.

And then of course.

We’re going to colonize deep space with our microwave hot dogs and plastic vomit fake dog shit and cinnamon dental floss and lemon scented toilet paper and sneakers with lights in the heels and all these other impressive things we’ve done down here.

Let me ask you this, let me ask you this.

What are we going to tell the intergalactic council of ministers the first time one of our teenage mothers throws her newborn baby into a dumpster huh?

How we going to explain that to the space people?

How we going to let them know that our Ambassador was only late for the meeting because his breakfast was cold and he had to spend half an hour punching his wife around in the kitchen.

What are they going to think when they find out – it’s just a local custom – that over 80 million women in the third world have had their clitorises forcibly removed in order to reduce their sexual pleasure so they won’t cheat on their husbands.

Can’t you just sense how eager the rest of the universe is for us to show up?

Can’t you see them out there?