Proud to Be an American - George Carlin

Kids have to be warned that there’s bullshit coming down the road.

That’s the biggest thing you can do for a kid.

Tell them what life in this country is about.

It’s about a whole lot of bullshit that needs to be detected and avoided.

That’s the best thing you can do.

No one told me.

No one told me a thing like that.

I was never warned about any of this.

I had to find all of it out for myself.

And there are still, as with you probably, a lot of things that you’re expected to believe and accept in America that I personally have a problem with, and I question a lot of these things.

I’ll give you an example.

I saw a slogan on a guy’s car that said “Proud to be an American.”

And I thought, well, what the fuck does that mean?

Proud to be an American.

You see, I’ve never understood national pride.

I’ve never understood ethnic pride.

Because I’m Irish, and all four of my grandparents were born in Ireland, so I’m fully Irish.

And when I was a kid, I would go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade, and I noticed that they sold a button that said “Proud to be Irish.”

And I could never understand that because I knew that on Columbus Day, they sold a different button that said “Proud to be Italian.”

Then came black pride and Puerto Rican pride.

And I could never understand ethnic or national pride because, to me, pride should be reserved for something you achieve or attain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth.

Being Irish, being Irish isn’t a skill.

It’s a fucking genetic accident.

You wouldn’t say, “I’m proud to be 5’11”.

I’m proud to have a predisposition for colon cancer.

So, why the fuck would you be proud to be Irish or proud to be Italian or American or anything?

Hey, if you’re happy with it, that’s fine.

Do that.

Put that on your car.

“Happy to be an American.”

Be happy.

Don’t be proud.

Too much pride as it is.

Pride goeth before a fall.

Never forget Proverbs, OK?