Claws in Your Back - Julien Baker

Collecting the circles that tell us

How old we are beneath our eyelids

Wearing a purple badge to prove what I did

Pump the vitals out of my wrist

'Cause I’m conducting an experiment on how it feels to die

Or stay alive

So try to stay calm, 'cause nobody knows

The violent partner you carry around

With claws in your back, ripping your clothes

And listing your failures out loud

It’s more than the skeleton next to my coat

The black that I held in the back of my throat

Follows you straight into the dark;

The easy way out and the hardest part

When it won’t leave me alone

I’m better off learning

How to be

Living with demons I’ve

Mistaken for saints

If you keep it between us

I think they’re the same

I think I can love

The sickness you made

'Cause I take it all back, I changed my mind

I wanted to stay

I wanted to stay