Recovery - Mayfield

I want to ease away my pain

And pretend to feel okay

A last ditch effort to make it through the day

I got to know that I’m on the verge of breaking down

To want to climb the mountain to the meadows and fall into relief

Staying on the tracks it seems impossible for me

But I feel the warming touch of grace and I know it’s worth the war

Taking steps to clear my head, I’m avoiding all that’s getting too heavy to

keep this close

I let myself decay into this ghost

I wish that I could lie to myself like you do

All the things I would give

The things I wish I never knew

Resented, I drag myself by the feet

Don’t want to let this take anymore from me

I walk along these hopeless shores

Death is reaching out

But I won’t take his fuckin hand

Get me back on track again

I wonder when this will end

Self control

A loaded gun pointed at my head

I go back and forth

Along the same old course

And never stop to think

Ill fix myself one day

Just like an open wound

I never heal enough

It leaves me feeling nothing

There’s got to be something here that keeps my head on straight

I won’t just break, ill always bend

To the point where I won’t greet the end

I wish that I could lie to myself like you do

All the things I would give

The things I wish I never knew

Resented, I drag myself by the feet

Don’t want to let this take anymore from me

I have wasted countless years of my life

Feeling hopeless and hollow

Now I’m hoping I could change this time

But the change was always there, its deep inside of you its just been locked

away

I wish that I could lie to myself like you do

All the things I would give

The things I wish I never knew

Resented, I drag myself by the feet

Don’t want to let this take anymore from me