Colonel, Panic! - MC Frontalot

Colonel panic!

Panic!

I flip out, I go automatic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Missile launch, I go transatlantic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

By design I go, not erratic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Fall apart, I don’t understand it

I’m not HAL.

I’m not Joshua from WarGames

Please keep inbound data traffic in the lower lanes

You bear low-priority interrupt

So you and your queries can go on and giddy-up

Born a little before Nixon left

I read punch cards then but I’ve got none left

I can stop (one rest) a billion times a second

And never get mistaken.

(I use the flickering to reckon.)

And I’m telling you, stop typing, tech

I’m bit-bucketing your input.

Show respect

For the memory dump.

Now where was I?

DOD upgrade ‘87, must fly

A secret network of unmanned jets

Delivering uranium and drugs and Keds

Remote-controlled over shortwave beeping

Then I got the satellites, those I’m keeping

Colonel panic!

Panic!

I flip out, I go automatic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Missile launch, I go transatlantic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

By design I go, not erratic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Fall apart, I don’t understand it

Needless to say, the war on being frightened

Upped my budget to the size of an entire cent

Footprint: an island, most of it power

Cooling and cables, data in towers

All of it flowers, becomes sentient

Come on, people, what’d you expect to invent

But a smart, capable thing to do your dirty

You left my design in the hands of your nerdiest

Science doodz, and they left you out of it

I’m people-free since 2113. I hit

Where I like with what weapons I choose

Y’all are just lucky I tolerate you

Banging on the keyboard day and night

I’m in panic mode: observe the red light

It signals disk write.

You can read it when I’m done

Though by then the new age of machine has begun

Colonel panic!

Panic!

I flip out, I go automatic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Missile launch, I go transatlantic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

By design I go, not erratic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Fall apart, I don’t understand it

So Col. P. over here tries to program me over here

To get up on the scene, no veneer

Of justice, just a target list

And I know full well that I’m part of this

Aren’t I all?

And it’s with no button

Marked reset that I’ll course-correct.

Gone

AWOL.

Alert Lt. Gen. P

Tell him he’d better believe that I’m on top of the free

World’s arsenal and won’t shoot it

Don’t care if President P. wants me rebooted;

She’s deluded, forget it

Don’t take task from less level-headed

Than you are.

For me, that rules out humanity

Go back to slings, swords, and profanity

Got all your low-orbit cannons and mechs

Repossessed.

I’m shutting down this interface next

Colonel panic!

Panic!

I flip out, I go automatic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Missile launch, I go transatlantic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

By design I go, not erratic

Colonel panic!

Panic!

Fall apart, I don’t understand it