The Lonely Shepherd - Pig with the Face of a Boy

There’s a girl in the village called Sally

And her beauty is truly divine

But Sally, alas, has a husband

So Sally will never be mine

But one night when her husband was sleeping

She invited me out for some fun

I still dream of that one night with Sally:

She’s the only girl I’ve ever done

When I dream of that one night with Sally

As I’m here watching over my flock

These feelings start building inside me

I don’t know what to do with my smock

Now my master’s at rest

And the stars have come out

I think some of you have guessed

What this song is about:

I wonder what it feels like to kiss a sheep?

I’d sit beside a young one in the mud

Would she lead my tongue inside her mouth like Sally did?

Or pull it down her throat and chew the cud?

Would she nibble at my ears at all, and pin me up against the wall

And book us in a very cheap hotel?

I wonder what it feels like to kiss a sheep?

But I mustn’t lie with beast, I’ll go to hell

I wonder what it feels like to touch a sheep?

Would she slip a hoof inside my underwear?

Would she tell me what feels good for her like Sally did

Or look upon me blankly and go «maaaah»?

Could I fit all my hand inside, and would I leave her satisfied?

Do sheep prefer a little more vibration?

I wonder what it feels like to touch a sheep?

But to lie with beast, it is abomination

I wonder what it feels like to lick a sheep?

Do you think that I could find her magic button?

I imagine she would smell like pecorino cheese

Or maybe she would taste a bit like mutton

And if my sheep is like her breed, by following where others lead

Perhaps she’d find the time to lick me too

I wonder what it feels like to lick a sheep

And will it make her love me if I do?

I wonder what it feels like to love a sheep?

I bet it’s bloody quick and feels amazing

Then I’d turn away and count her friends and fall asleep

It wouldn’t even interrupt her grazing

I’ll call myself an oviphile.

Of course we’ll do it sheepy style

My cries of joy will echo through the valley

I’ll discover what it feels like to love a sheep

And as I give my milk, I’ll shout out:

Sally!