Resident Enis - Random Encounters

Enis:

Chapter 54, page 105

Create a hellhound antidote and keep your victim alive

It says to cover one eyeball, and the other one, too

Dodger:

What for?

Enis:

That’s what the book says to do!

We’ll need a pile of raisins and a magical word

I like to use the term, 'linguine!'

'cause it’s pretty absurd

And once we’ve found ourselves some raisins, pour them into a shoe

Then flick your ear;

that’s what the book said to do

We have to iron a cactus, stick a bee in your nose

And then we’ll eat a plate of flapjacks, draw some faces on toes

We’ll all hold hands until they’re sweaty, we’ll pretend we can fly

And if we don’t…we'll die!

…I made that part up

Here, hold this!

Now you take a creepy baby doll and shake it all around

Then you shriek like a weasel while you flail on the ground

And once you’ve done that for two hours, throw that baby down the stairs

Then we’ll hit each other with metal chairs

Dodger:

I’m having second guesses 'bout this spellcasting stuff

Mark:

Okay, I found a couple tutus--

Enis:

That’s not nearly enough!

Next we’ll scatter someone’s ashes as we throw a parade

And then we’ll sit and have a séance while we’re playing Old Maid

Wear a big hat!

Drink from this jar!

Mark, Dodger:

None of this song makes sense so far…

Enis:

I hope I have some chickens left!

Mark:

I dunno what he’s up to, but it’s certainly weird

Dodger:

He keeps asking for toenails--

Mark:

--And a leprechaun beard!

Dodger:

I don’t think we should trust him, he’s completely insane

Mark:

And all the nonsense we’re doing seems expressly inane!

Dodger:

Oh, we should totally kill him!

Mark:

Yeah, it seems like you’re right

Dodger:

I mean, he looks pretty puny

Mark:

Won’t be much of a fight

Dodger:

We can sneak up behind him--

Mark:

--Drive a stake through his heart!

Dodger:

Do your worst!

Mark:

Ladies first!

Mark, Dodger:

If you won’t impale him, then Enis will start a new verse!

Enis:

We gotta whittle a pickle, eat some parmesan cheese

And then we’ll all watch a movie (Oh no, not the bees!)

And next we take out the garbage, summon hellbeasts from space

And then when the portal closes, pull his sleeve up to expose his wounded arm

And kiss your friend’s dead face!

Enis:

Let’s expel our spacebound hellbeasts, then we’ll take out the trash

We’ll watch a flick and eat some cheese and cut a pickle and dash

Inside to play kazoo and wear a hat, use metal chairs like baseball bats

And flail and fly and paint all your toes

We’ll eat some flapjacks and stick bees in your no-- uh, nevermind

We’ll grab a shoe to fill with snacks and flick your ear with sneak attacks and

scream «linguine!»

to the max

So here it goes!