Back In The Doghouse Again - Ray Stevens

Do do-de-do do do do-de-do

Do do-de-do do

Yeah

The other morning I was crawlin' home

Made it about halfway across the lawn

Just paused beneath the begonias there to rest my hands and knees

Mindin' my own business laying there in the snow

When my wife walks out says she’d like to know

What I thought I was doin' in the shrubbery

At a quarter past three

I said, «Honey, I’d love to tell you

But I’m sworn to secrecy!

Yeah!

It’s got something to do with night maneuvers

And national security!

Heh heh!»

Well, then I watched her swell up like a toad

And put both hands on her hips

Then squinched up those little beady eyes

And pooched out that bottom lip

And I knew that I was

Back in the doghouse again!

Sleepin' with my flea-covered friend

Oh, move it over Rover!

Looks like I’m movin' in!

Back in the doghouse again!

Do do-de-do do do do-de-do

Do do-de-do do

So I told that woman

«You know what’s wrong with you?

You never think of the good things I do!

Like how I leave my dirty clothes all spread out on the floor there so easy to

see?

Yeah, you know how you worry about gettin' fat?

Ain’t I always there to help you out with that?

Well, how many times have you heard me say

'Better slow down Porky, looks like you’re puttin' on a few pounds to me!

Heh'

Yeah, and the night you changed that flat tire, didn’t I stand there and hold

the light?

And you want to make a big fuss about me comin' in a little late at night?

Huh!»

Well, I must’ve said somethin' wrong

'Cause she put both hands on her hips

And then she rolled her eyes, and stamped her foot

And pooched out that bottom lip

And heaven only knows why, but I was

Back in the doghouse again!

Yeah, I spent more time in there than Rin Tin Tin!

Yeah, I keep on tryin' to please her

But then I do somethin' dumb and then

It’s back in the doghouse again!

Move over there boy and let me in there

Whew!

Boy, have you got Alpo breath tonight!

Gotta get you some of them chlorophyll dog biscuits!

Chase cars?

Naw, I don’t wanna chase cars again tonight

Remember what happened last time?

We caught one!

Yeah, almost killed me!

Ran over me twice!

Pass me that bone there, would’ya?