The Dog Song - Ray Stevens

You know, if dogs could sing

Here’s a song that might be sung by some of man’s best friends

She said, «I'm tired of being treated like a dog, I’m outta here»

When I heard those words, it really made me perk up my ears

Now I know she’s been mistreated, but what she said is wrong

If he had treated her like a dog, she’d have never gone

If he had rolled around and played with her on the floor down in the den

Taken her for nice long walks, given her a bath and then

Dried her off, rubbed her tummy, scratched her behind her ears

Well, I’ll bet you a bag of Ken-L Ration that she’d still be here

If he had only treated her like a dog

Well, happy ever after would have been there everlong

She’d never stray away from home

She’d wag her tail and tag along

If he had only treated her like a dog (Like a dog)

Now he calls me Prince, treats me like a king

And when it comes to her, I don’t know why

He can’t do the same doggone thing

Like wash her bowl and water dish each night like he does mine

Compliment her, give her little treats from time to time

Let her out all on her own every now and then

Why, I’d have some stiff competition to be that man’s best friend

If he had only treated her like a dog

Whoa, happy ever after would have been there everlong

She’d never stray away from home

She’d wag her tail and tag along

If he had only treated her like a dog (Like a dog)

Oh, if he had only treated her like a dog