The Ugliest Man in Town - Shel Silverstein

Handsome guys get girls that are pretty

Other guys make it cause they’re clever and witty

But the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I’m the ugliest man in town

Yeah I drive down the street in a Roys Rolls car

Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar

But you know folks that really don’t get you very far

When you’re the ugliest man in town

There was a note on the doorstep where I was found

Is said this poor child weighs eleven pounds

So bring him up healthy and welthy and sound

Keep his back to the light don’t let him turn around

Yeah all you women you’re heartless and cold all you want is my silver and gold

Don’t you know I’ve got a beautiful soul though I’m the ugliest man in town

Yeah I’m so ugly I gotta shave in the dark

The kids start to cry when I walk through the park

The clock stop tickin' and dogs start to bark whenever I come around

Oh oh oh I walk down the street the girls all hiss me

If I died tomorrow not one of them would miss me

Only reason they ball me is they can’t stand to kiss me

I’m the ugliest man in town oh yeah the ugliest man in town