The Blob - Stephen Sondheim

THE BLOB

Have you seen —?

How was it —?

You’re not serious!

Do you mean —?

That does it!

You’re not serious!

Darling!

We bought the most — !

Darling!

We had the best — !

Darling!

We saw the first —

Darling!

Was that the worst —?

Best — !

It’s the first — !

It’s the finest — !

It’s the latest — !

It’s the least — !

It’s the worst — !

It’s the absolutely lowest — !

It’s the greatest — !

It’s the single — !

It’s the only — !

It’s the perfect — !

It’s the —

Hi!

Dreadful!

Fabulous!

FRANK (spoken)

Hi, I didn’t know if you’d remember me, I’m Franklin Shepard?

Oh and that’s

Charley Kringus who writes my lyrics

GUSSIE (spoken)

Remember you?

You’re the reason we’re giving this bash!

I have invited the

richest and most influential people in this town tonight, none of whom are as

rich or influential as you are going to be

I call them 'The Blob', they absorb everything

(sung)

Meet The Blob

The bodies you read about

The ones who know everyone

That everyone knows

THE BLOB

Hi!

Dreadful!

Fabulous!

GUSSIE

Meet the blob

Not many and yet —

THE BLOB

Oh.

Right…

GUSSIE

— you never see one —

THE BLOB

What?

No!

GUSSIE

They come as a set

THE BLOB

Who?

—

Him?

GUSSIE

And we’re in their debt —

THE BLOB

But what did you think?

GUSSIE

'Cause, honeybunch

They write the books

And put on the shows

And run the saloons

And design the clothes

They keep us natives on our toes

THE BLOB

Albee!

Warhol!

Kurosawa!

GUSSIE

Then they read the books

And go to the shows

And swamp the saloons

Wearing all the clothes…

What you might call a glut

But

They’re the most important people

In the most important city

In the most important country

In the you-know-what!

THE BLOB

Heavy!

Miltown!

Gestalt!