The Judge's Return - Stephen Sondheim

JUDGE: Where is she?

Where is the girl?

TODD: Below, your Honor.

With my neighbor, Mrs. Lovett.

Thank heavens the

sailor did not molest her.

Thank heavens too, she

Has seen the error of her ways

JUDGE: She has?

TODD: Oh yes, sir.

She speaks only of you, longing for forgiveness

JUDGE: And she shall have it

JUDGE:

Pretty women!

TODD:

Pretty women, yes …

JUDGE: Quickly, sir, a splash of bay rum!

TODD: Sit, sir, sit

JUDGE:

JOHANNA, JOHANNA.

TODD:

Pretty women.

.

JUDGE: Hurry, man!

TODD:

Pretty women

Are a wonder.

.

JUDGE: You’re in a merry mood again today, barber

TODD:

Pretty women!

JUDGE:

What we do for

TODD:

Pretty women!

Pretty women!

Blowing out their candles Blowing out their candles

Or combing out their hair â€" Or combing out their hair

Then they leave â€"

Even when they leave you Even when they leave

And vanish, they somehow They still

Can still remain Are there

There with you there … They’re there.

.

JUDGE: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit!

TODD: With fellow tastes â€" in women, at least

JUDGE: What?

What’s that?

TODD: The years no doubt have changed me, sir.

But then, I suppose,

the face of a barber â€" the face of a prisoner in the

Dock â€" is not particularly memorable

JUDGE: Benjamin Barker!

TODD:

Rest now, my friend

Rest now forever

Sleep now the untroubled

Sleep of the angels.

.

The boy

My razor!

You!

What are you doing here?

Speak!

JOHANNA: Oh, dear.

Er â€" excuse me, sir. I saw the barber’s sign.

So thinking to ask for a shave, I â€"

TODD: When?

When did you come in?

JOHANNA: Oh, sir, I beg of you.

Whatever I have seen, no man shall ever know.

I swear it.

Oh, sir, please, sir …

TODD: A shave, eh?

At your service

JOHANNA: But, sir…

TODD: Whatever you may have seen, your cheeks are still as much in need of the

razor as before.

Sit, sir.

Sit

COMPANY:

Lift your razor high, Sweeney!

Hear it singing, «Yes!»

Sink it in the rosy skin

Of righteousness!

MRS.

LOVETT: Die!

Die!

God in heaven â€" die! You! Can it be? How all the

demons of Hell come to torment me!

Quick!

To the

Oven

TODD: Why did you scream?

Does the JUDGE still live?

MRS.

LOVETT: He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now â€" he’s finished

TODD: Leave them to me.

Open the doors

MRS.

LOVETT: No!

Don’t touch her!

TODD: What is the matter with you?

It’s only some meddling old beggar â€" Oh no,

Oh God.

.. «Don't I know you?»

she said.

.

You knew she lived.

From the first moment that I walked into your shop you

knew my Lucy lived!

MRS.

LOVETT: I was only thinking of you!

TODD:

Lucy..

MRS.

LOVETT: Your Lucy!

A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley

ash-cans!

Would you have wanted to know that

Was all that was left of her?

TODD: You lied to me

MRS.

LOVETT:

No, no, not lied at all

No, I never lied

TODD:

Lucy…

MRS.

LOVETT:

Said she took the poison â€" she did â€"

Never said that she died â€"

Poor thing

She lived â€"

TODD:

I’ve come home again.

.

MRS.

LOVETT:

But it left her weak in the head

All she did for months was just lie there in bed â€"

TODD:

Lucy..

MRS.

LOVETT:

Should’ve been in hospital

Wound up in Bedlam instead

Poor thing!

TODD:

Oh, my God.

.

MRS.

LOVETT:

Better you should think she was dead

Yes, I lied 'cos I love you!

TODD:

Lucy…

MRS.

LOVETT:

I’d be twice the wife she was!

I love you!

TODD:

What have I done…

MRS.

LOVETT:

Could that thing have cared for you

Like me?

TODD:

Mrs. Lovett

You’re a bloody wonder

Eminently practical and yet

Appropriate as always

As you’ve said repeatedly

There’s little point in dwelling on the past

TODD:

MRS.

LOVETT:

Do you mean it?

Everything I did I swear

I thought

Was only for the best

Believe me!

Can we still be

Married?

No, come here, my love.

Not a thing to fear

My love.

.

What’s dead

Is dead

TODD:

The history of the world, my pet â€"

MRS.

LOVETT:

Oh, Mr. Todd

Ooh, Mr. Todd

Leave it to me.

TODD:

Is learn forgiveness and try to forget

MRS.

LOVETT:

By the sea, Mr. Todd

We’ll be comfy-cozy

By the sea, Mr. Todd

Where there’s no one nosy …

TODD:

And life is for the alive, my dear

So let’s keep living it â€" !

BOTH:

Just keep living it

Really living it â€" !

TODD:

There was a barber and his wife

And she was beautiful

A foolish barber and his wife

She was his reason and his life

And she was beautiful

And she was virtuous

And he was â€"

Naive

TOBIAS:

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker man

Bake me a cake â€"

No, no

Bake me a pie â€"

To delight my eye

And I will sigh

If the crust be high …

Mr. TODD

It’s the old woman.

Ya harmed her too, have ya?

Ya shouldn’t, ya know.

Ya shouldn’t harm nobody.

Razor!

Razor!

Cut, cut, cut

Cadougan, watch me grind my corn.

Pat him and prick him and mark him with B,

and put him in the oven for baby and me!