Interrogation Song - Ty Burrell, Sam Eagle, The Muppets

Sam: Kermit, let’s begin

Describe the day you played Berlin

Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about

We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut

Ty: That night, at 10:03

Were you inside the portrait gallery

C: From 10 oclock to 10:04

Is when we played the shows encore

S: Hm, Frog, we’ve got our doubts

Can you confirm your whereabouts?

C: My alibi is water tight

The audience saw me sing all night

T: Monsieur, we know you did the crime

C: I was on stage that whole time

Ask who sang Rainbow Connection

T&S: Thank you, Kermit

No more questions

T: Allo, I think it’s time for good cop romantic cop

Miss Piggy, you cleaned up locked inside

And now’s your chance to save your hide

Miss Piggy: Gentlemen, I did not know

It’s a crime to steal the show

S: Tell us how the art was taken

T: If you want to save your bacon

MP: I haven’t seen your missing art

All I’ve stolen was audience hearts

S: We can give you a plea deal

T: All you have to do is squeal

MP: I’m not a thief I don’t know how

All I’ve ever taken is a bow

T: We’ll catch the swine who did this job

MP: Give up the pig puns creep

Go jump in a lake that’s my suggestion

T&S: Thank you Piggy no more questions

T: I think she liked me

S: I don’t think your puns are helping the investigation

T: You know…

I think they did it

S: No they didn’t

T: Yes they did and we can pin it

S: if they did how did they do it?

T: if they didn’t how didn’t they didn’t?

S: if they didn’t then it’s easy 'cuz they simply didn’t do it

T: if they did it then i knew it but we’ve nothing that can prove it

Excuse me

Bring in the purple guy with the schnoz

S: Do you remember what you did

On the night you played Mardid

Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull

And rushed off stage to the hospital

T: Gonzo, what do you know

About the sculpture theft at Madrid’s Prado

G: I never saw the stolen bust

I spent the night in bed concussed

S: The truth, Gonzo, the clock is tickin'

G: If you don’t believe me, ask the chicken

Camilla was there she’ll cooperate

T: Madame are you willing to corroborate

-chicken clucks-

S: Will somebody get this chicken out of here

G: Calm down, Camilla, it’s a routine inspection

T&S: Thank you Gonzo, no more questions

T: Let’s go from the start

What do you know about the stolen art

Lew: I didn’t know there was a plan

Dr. Teeth: Your accusations far out man

Honewdew: The chances of us commiting a crime

Are less than point 009

Swedish Chef: *Gibberish*

T: To help with our investigation

Can you do a full translation

— What the chef just said to you

Was shnoopdy shnoopdy shnoo it’s not Swedish

Animal Grunts and laughs

Penguins Cluck

Fozzy: Uh I can do an Elvis impression

T&S: Thank you, Muppets, no more questions

T: They didn’t

S: No they didn’t

T: there’s no way they did the crime

S: They couldn’t, They’re too stupid

T: They’re not criminal master minds

S: We do not know who did it

But we know who didn’t do it

T&S: So we know who didn’t do it

Yes we know who didn’t do it~

T: They are incapable of being culpable