Beezlebozo - Bill Hicks

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

I know some of y'all might have a youngin' coming of age and not want to go the traditional clown-balloon animal route this year might wanna look me up: Beelzebozo - Clown from Hell.

"Hi, kids, it's Beelzebozo time!

Tell me somethin', who here outta you youngins has never smoked a cigarette?

C'mere, kids!

What's yer name?"

"Tommy."

"Tommy? How old are ya?"

"...five."

"Five years old? And you mean to tell Beelzebozo you're not smokin' cigarettes yet?

C'mere, Tommy!"

[quick puffs, long hacking cough]

"Hold it in!"

[quick puffs]

"Mommy!"

"Nope! [singing] It's Beelzebozo time...

Tell me somethin', who here outta you youngins has never watched a skin flick?

C'mere, kids!"

[imitates a film projector whirring]

"See them? Them's titties! Huh hah!"

"Mommy!"

"That IS yer mommy! C'mon!

[singing] It's Beelzebozo time..."

Clown from hell!