Drunk Texts to Myself - - Trevor Moore

right now."

Drunk texts to myself, messages through time.

I don’t remember any of these, what was going through my mind?

Drunk texts to myself, subconscious to my phone.

What’re these supposed to be?

I should’ve left this thing at home.

Start a band called Dwarf Cooter.

Black people are the second worst at being President.

Tell all of your friends you’re moving back to Virginia,

Then just move across town.

Write a dinosaur children’s christmas book,

Tthe last line should be «because it had never snowed in dinosaur land before.»

You kicked the door, but the light thing was already broken.

Secretly learn French.

Try to get the rights to Space Jam.

Drunk texts to myself, messages through time.

I don’t remember any of these, what was going through my mind?

Drunk texts to myself, subconscious to my phone.

What’re these supposed to be?

I should’ve left this thing at home.

«Fat Girls Taking Dumps» would also be a great band name.

The seven-eleven on Franklin doesn’t sell beer because they’re Muslim.

See if LOLFarts.com is taken.

Porno For Pyros is the one that sings «Tahitian Moon.»

You need to pay the bus driver two times.

Rapping dog TV show.

Tonight by the tire swing it’s a fight to the death as the deer stares into the

field,

Followed by seventeen exclamation points.

Learn to Tokyo drift.

I am just a conscious vibration observing my little section of life,

Sent from my iPhone.

Drunk texts to myself, messages through time.

I don’t remember any of these, what was going through my mind?

Drunk texts to myself, subconscious to my phone.

What’re these supposed to be?

I should’ve left this thing at home.